burningdarkfire (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
burningdarkfire) wrote2010-03-07 10:18 pm
burningdarkfire) wrote2010-03-07 10:18 pm
Sapphire - 5. Able To Love [TRC; KuroFai]
Title: Sapphire - Able To Love
Series: TRC
Pairing: KuroFai
Rating: PG
Length: about 2500 words, chapter 5 (1.5/??)
Note: runs parallel to Crimson
The sky is full of blood. Fai tilted his head back to observe the heavens. There will be multiple deaths tomorrow, no doubt.
The buildings seemed to close in on him. Fai was overwhelmed with an urge to break free and run away.
Run far, far away.
Breathing in the air carrying the hint of sunset, Fai strode off and headed into the plains south of the town. With the soldiers coming in from the north, he was fairly certain he wouldn’t be attacked.
If nothing else, I have my magic.
Fai laughed. The harsh sound was lost in the land of snow, ice, and frost.
How ironic. I’ve come to depend on my magic once again.
But just think! It would be so, so easy to die. He could stay out here until the cold finally penetrated him for good. He could walk into enemy camp with his arms wide open. He could do it himself, with a mere spark of magic or a piercing of his throat with his claws.
But although I know a thousand and one ways to kill a person, Fai thought of Ashura, pain in his eyes. The only two people I have never managed to see off are …
Ashura. Myself.
Even though I am the one that most deserves to die, instead I take the lives of others, just so mine can keep on going.
Fai already knew there were well over 200 people anticipating his death on this white expanse.
I could kill all of them with no permanent damage to my health.
That many lives was not something to be taken lightly.
Yet I would do it anyway, if it meant …
Fai’s gaze travelled behind him to the town he was leaving behind.
Though he could not see the inn, on the north side of town, he knew that Kurogane must be on guard by now.
If it meant that he would live.
I would give anything, everything, to make sure Kurogane was alive and happy.
Because …
Kurogane is my most important person.
With this thought in mind, he collapsed into the snow, satisfied that he was far enough to not be found.
I am so, so, sorry …
No longer under the binds of Fei Wang Reed, Fai knew he could die whenever he wanted.
No longer under the constraints of his wish that was supposed to be fulfilled, Fai could truly live now.
There was no one, nothing, to hold him back. But now … all he wanted to do was die.
Feeling the cold seep into him, he welcomed it.
Numb me, he thought. Spare me.
It was not to be.
The tears flowed, warm against his frozen face.
I’m sorry …
I’m sorry, people of Celes, for coming into your country. I’m sorry for the brutal end you met at the hands of your trusted ruler, in exchange for a slight chance for my freedom. I’m sorry to all those that may have remained, and then disappeared, when Celes was closed by my magic.
I’m sorry, Ashura-o, for the day you came to that tower and took me into your life. I’m sorry for allowing myself to be loved, for loving you back. I’m sorry that you felt you needed to protect me from my curses, and I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to fulfill your wish.
I’m sorry, Syaoran, Sakura, the four of you, for joining your journey with my own selfish impossible wish to grant. I’m sorry I wasn’t more help when it came to realizing your wishes and desires. I’m sorry I kept everything I knew from you, when I knew that you were mere pawns in a grand chess game.
I’m sorry, Kurogane, for getting too close. I’m sorry for all those names and all the teasing. I’m sorry for all the times you had to haul my sorry butt out of a dangerous situation. I’m sorry for all the times you had to save my life, even when it meant being tied to me forever. I’m sorry for sometimes shutting you off, but it’s the only way.
I’m sorry for falling in love with you.
I’m sorry that you had to be involved with some as dirty and foul as me.
And perhaps most importantly …
Fai, I’m sorry …
You will never know how sorry I am. There are so many things to apologize for, so many things I could’ve/would’ve/should’ve done. I should have saved us both. I should never have let you go …
I’m …
I’m in love, Fai.
… sorry.
I’m sorry, Fai …!
I’ll never forget you, I promise.
But he’s my most important person now …
-
Fai woke up shivering in his coat. Soaked through, he stood and checked the time. A few minutes remained until midnight, when he was supposed to relieve Kurogane.
Silver light from the moon and stars spilled over the landscape as he started running.
This is a beautiful country. A beautiful cold country, just waiting for death to come.
He ran, skimming across snow and imagining himself flying off; in seek of a new beginning.
Arriving at the inn, not even slightly out of breath, he gently pushed open the door and crept through the hallways.
If not today, then tomorrow.
The time for me will come eventually, even if I’m too weak to end my life myself.
The thought comforted him a twisted sort of way.
But for now, he would enjoy as much time as possible with the man he loved.
-
Unfortunately, said man was not in the mood for much conversation.
I supposed it’s better this way, Fai thought, although he felt like crying when all Kurogane said was a simple, “Don’t fall asleep.” I suppose I deserve this.
Somehow, I would have expected him to ask about last night.
To say something, to say anything, to show that he cared, even just a little bit.
“Don’t worry, Kuro-pu,” he offered a small tentative smile. Kurogane glared at him. He felt himself wither under the intense look.
I’m trying so hard to please you, Kurogane. He whispered to himself. But you ask for too much sometimes, and sometimes I don’t even know what it is you want.
“Good. I’m trusting you,” he said before closing the door.
I won’t let you down.
-
Settling himself, Fai prepared for a long night.
After setting up and testing his wards, he tried to detect anything malicious within the village, but discovered nothing.
All that’s coming through the wards now is air.
Lying on his back, looking at the stars, Fai’s mind started to wander.
What will I do?
What can I do?
Kurogane …
A bitter sob escaped his throat.
Someone like me should never be able to love.
Kurogane probably wouldn’t want me, anyway. I annoy him too much, and besides, how many times has he told me he hated me?
Many times. Each time, it hurt. It still does.
When did this all start, anyway?
I first knew of him in the tower.
I first saw him at the witch’s shop.
I first nicknamed him in Hanshin.
Together, we went through a lot.
Too much to ever forget and let go.
Fai really wanted to think about something else. A
ll that’s coming through the wards now is air …
-
He’s coming.
Fai could feel Kurogane’s presence shift and move from their room to the stairs.
He took a deep breath. Another moment, another mask.
Closing his eyes, he chose a lullaby familiar to him from days and nights spent in Ruval. The humming started as soon as Kurogane climbed up the stairs.
He waited.
“You know, being on watch usually involves watching,” Kurogane growled, leaning over him. “What if, a spy had been sent ahead to check out our defenses? Or an assassin had been creeping up to finish us off before we got a chance at an honorable battle?”
On cue, he stopped humming and lazily opened an eye.
“But I am watching, Kuro-pon! I’m using my magic to feel for auras and spells,” Fai sat up and rubbed his eyes. “I have to stay up here for at least another two hours until sunrise, so why are you here?”
He probably doesn’t trust me not to let some assassin slip by.
His question was ignored. “What if someone was hiding their magic, like you do?”
Fai shrugged. “If there was someone using magic and hiding it, I wouldn’t be able to see it either. Besides, I’ve placed wards around this entire town, and nothing will enter or leave without my permission.”
Kurogane grunted. At a temporary loss for what to say, Fai did what was most natural to him by now – he faked a smile.
The surprise he felt when Kurogane knelt down was enough to stun him for a few moments.
“I told you before; don’t smile if you don’t feel like it. No one is forcing you to be happy. Your happiness is something you must make for yourself.”
I don’t smile for me, Kuro-chan.
“But Kuro-chan,” Fai said softly, sad smile still in place. “Wouldn’t you be happier if I was happy?”
How will he respond? Fai dared to hope he would say yes, and then reprimanded himself for caring. Nothing good could come out of a close relationship. Ashura had proved that beyond a doubt.
There was no answer.
He’s just too afraid to say no.
He turned his head so that the tears threatening his eyes weren’t visible.
Happiness is overrated anyway.
Keeping his voice steady, he whispered, “Sometimes, Kuro-sama, I feel as if I’m running away faster from happiness than I am from life.”
Say something, Kurogane. Tell me you care. Tell me I’m not all alone in the world; tell me someone would cry if I died. Just say something, Kurogane. Show me that I’m not alone, even in the company of others.
“I really don’t understand you,” The words were spoken slowly, delicately. “But I do understand this: you need to stop running, and start living.”
So he does care.
The warmth that blossomed in his heart frightened him.
After gathering himself, Fai looked up again and allowed back a smile to hide behind.
I really shouldn’t be doing this. But who knows, the world might get lucky and I’ll die tomorrow. Maybe I’ll finally see what’s at the bottom at the ocean of Death, hmm? I’ve treaded these waters for long enough, and I’m weary of living.
Might as enjoy what little time I hopefully have left.
The only sound to be heard was a faint rustle of clothing as Fai scooted over so he could rest his head on Kurogane’s shoulder. His smile became a bit brighter when he felt Kurogane’s arm wrap around him with little hesitation.
I’m sorry, Kurogane. I’m sorry that you care.
-
A sense of warmth.
Security.
Love.
Snatched away for a moment, missing for a seeming eternity.
Seeking.
There it is.
Warmth. Security. Love.
He was content.
How long would it last this time?
-
He stood, the bodies arranged in perfect disorder around the room. Should anyone enter, the full effect of all the deaths would no doubt hit them.
He looked around, at this castle that was his home.
He thought wistfully of that man.
To love is a funny thing.
You lose sight of things you may have valued before, such as your own life.
I would give up everything I have.
And I did.
My people are dead, slain by their ruler.
My love … He will be the one to kill me.
Fai gazed upon the cold recognition in his eyes as the doors slammed open behind him and blood dripped down his fingers.
-
He was cold. So cold, and the waves were rougher than usual today. Shivering, he curled up tighter again Kurogane.
Would I really do that for him?
If there was a castle full of people, all sworn loyal to me.
Would I be able to kill them all, and watch their blood flow?
What would I do, if I knew the only way to save him was the murder, murder, and murder some more? If I knew I had to make him hate me, despise me, enough that he, in turn, could murder me?
“Hey!” Fai dragged out of his dreams by a shout. “Mage!”
I will never, ever, destroy anyone else like that.
I am nothing like Ashura-o.
Am I?
Fai sat up slowly and gazed out at the vast expanse of white, avoiding Kurogane’s eyes. His dream replayed itself in his mind – the scene that had ended his life in Celes, only in the dream he was king and Kurogane was the one who was supposed to kill him.
It hurt.
Tasting saltiness on his lips, Fai reached up and touched his face.
Tears.
I cried.
For who?
“You have a lot of nightmares, don’t you,” Kurogane’s voice sounded, once again dragging Fai out of his reverie.
“Mmmm,” Fai turned to Kurogane, mind still mostly on the residue feelings of the dream. “I have too many bad memories and too many unhappy thoughts to dream of more cheerful things, I suppose.”
“Tell me about it,” Kurogane suggested. “It’ll make you feel better, I think.”
I can’t, Kurogane.
You wouldn’t understand.
Everything Ashura had felt was there: the despair, the guilt, the horror. The lives taken and thrown away, disregarded for the sake of a sole other. The hope that one day, he could have a better life. That one day, he could live.
“You wouldn’t want to hear it,” Fai wiped away the tears on his sleeves and looked up at Kurogane, still clinging to him, to his warmth, to his strength. A smile struggled to his face.
I’m sorry, Ashura-o. I can’t do that, even for you. I don’t deserve it.
“Will you stop smiling?” Kurogane hissed. “You’re right, I am happier when you’re happy. But only if you’re actually happy, not when you’re hurting and pretending. Not when you’re lying and hiding and locking yourself and your secrets up. I’m not happier when you’re running away from me, or when you’re talking about getting yourself killed, but I’d rather hear those thoughts, that are truly yours, than the ones that you make up. You just piss me off so much sometimes, but-”
There it is again. “You piss me off so much sometimes.”
Please Kurogane, just go. Go and don’t look back. Stop worrying about me. Don’t fret … over someone like me.
The door slammed open and Syaoran burst onto the roof.
“I’m sorry for sleeping in!” He huffed, hands on his knees. “You should have woken me up, Fai-san!”
He looked up and started blushing furiously. “Eeh? Kurogane-san, Fai-san! I’m sorry for, uh, for interrupting …” His voice trailed off.
As depressed as he was, even Fai couldn’t help a faint blush rising to his cheeks, especially when he saw Kurogane’s face.
He’s cute when he’s blushing.
“Oh, it’s no bother Syaoran-kun!” Fai beamed at him, putting everything he had into his smile. “You weren’t interrupting anything!”
If anything, you interrupted a fight just waiting to happen.
“In fact,” Fai looked up and grinned at Kurogane. “Kuro-pii had just finished confessing his love for me!”
Not really, but then, his hatred is good enough for me.
“So, um, would you two like to get some rest?” Syaoran, flustered, gestured vaguely with his hands. “It is my watch …”
“Yes, I think I’ll be off now. I’ve heard what I wanted to hear,” Fai delicately got up.
Be strong, Kurogane. Walk away and don’t look back. It’s for the best.
Fai felt Kurogane’s gaze on him.
You’re too good for me.
Always have been, always will be.
Someone like me should never be able to love.
Series: TRC
Pairing: KuroFai
Rating: PG
Length: about 2500 words, chapter 5 (1.5/??)
Note: runs parallel to Crimson
The sky is full of blood. Fai tilted his head back to observe the heavens. There will be multiple deaths tomorrow, no doubt.
The buildings seemed to close in on him. Fai was overwhelmed with an urge to break free and run away.
Run far, far away.
Breathing in the air carrying the hint of sunset, Fai strode off and headed into the plains south of the town. With the soldiers coming in from the north, he was fairly certain he wouldn’t be attacked.
If nothing else, I have my magic.
Fai laughed. The harsh sound was lost in the land of snow, ice, and frost.
How ironic. I’ve come to depend on my magic once again.
But just think! It would be so, so easy to die. He could stay out here until the cold finally penetrated him for good. He could walk into enemy camp with his arms wide open. He could do it himself, with a mere spark of magic or a piercing of his throat with his claws.
But although I know a thousand and one ways to kill a person, Fai thought of Ashura, pain in his eyes. The only two people I have never managed to see off are …
Ashura. Myself.
Even though I am the one that most deserves to die, instead I take the lives of others, just so mine can keep on going.
Fai already knew there were well over 200 people anticipating his death on this white expanse.
I could kill all of them with no permanent damage to my health.
That many lives was not something to be taken lightly.
Yet I would do it anyway, if it meant …
Fai’s gaze travelled behind him to the town he was leaving behind.
Though he could not see the inn, on the north side of town, he knew that Kurogane must be on guard by now.
If it meant that he would live.
I would give anything, everything, to make sure Kurogane was alive and happy.
Because …
Kurogane is my most important person.
With this thought in mind, he collapsed into the snow, satisfied that he was far enough to not be found.
I am so, so, sorry …
No longer under the binds of Fei Wang Reed, Fai knew he could die whenever he wanted.
No longer under the constraints of his wish that was supposed to be fulfilled, Fai could truly live now.
There was no one, nothing, to hold him back. But now … all he wanted to do was die.
Feeling the cold seep into him, he welcomed it.
Numb me, he thought. Spare me.
It was not to be.
The tears flowed, warm against his frozen face.
I’m sorry …
I’m sorry, people of Celes, for coming into your country. I’m sorry for the brutal end you met at the hands of your trusted ruler, in exchange for a slight chance for my freedom. I’m sorry to all those that may have remained, and then disappeared, when Celes was closed by my magic.
I’m sorry, Ashura-o, for the day you came to that tower and took me into your life. I’m sorry for allowing myself to be loved, for loving you back. I’m sorry that you felt you needed to protect me from my curses, and I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to fulfill your wish.
I’m sorry, Syaoran, Sakura, the four of you, for joining your journey with my own selfish impossible wish to grant. I’m sorry I wasn’t more help when it came to realizing your wishes and desires. I’m sorry I kept everything I knew from you, when I knew that you were mere pawns in a grand chess game.
I’m sorry, Kurogane, for getting too close. I’m sorry for all those names and all the teasing. I’m sorry for all the times you had to haul my sorry butt out of a dangerous situation. I’m sorry for all the times you had to save my life, even when it meant being tied to me forever. I’m sorry for sometimes shutting you off, but it’s the only way.
I’m sorry for falling in love with you.
I’m sorry that you had to be involved with some as dirty and foul as me.
And perhaps most importantly …
Fai, I’m sorry …
You will never know how sorry I am. There are so many things to apologize for, so many things I could’ve/would’ve/should’ve done. I should have saved us both. I should never have let you go …
I’m …
I’m in love, Fai.
… sorry.
I’m sorry, Fai …!
I’ll never forget you, I promise.
But he’s my most important person now …
-
Fai woke up shivering in his coat. Soaked through, he stood and checked the time. A few minutes remained until midnight, when he was supposed to relieve Kurogane.
Silver light from the moon and stars spilled over the landscape as he started running.
This is a beautiful country. A beautiful cold country, just waiting for death to come.
He ran, skimming across snow and imagining himself flying off; in seek of a new beginning.
Arriving at the inn, not even slightly out of breath, he gently pushed open the door and crept through the hallways.
If not today, then tomorrow.
The time for me will come eventually, even if I’m too weak to end my life myself.
The thought comforted him a twisted sort of way.
But for now, he would enjoy as much time as possible with the man he loved.
-
Unfortunately, said man was not in the mood for much conversation.
I supposed it’s better this way, Fai thought, although he felt like crying when all Kurogane said was a simple, “Don’t fall asleep.” I suppose I deserve this.
Somehow, I would have expected him to ask about last night.
To say something, to say anything, to show that he cared, even just a little bit.
“Don’t worry, Kuro-pu,” he offered a small tentative smile. Kurogane glared at him. He felt himself wither under the intense look.
I’m trying so hard to please you, Kurogane. He whispered to himself. But you ask for too much sometimes, and sometimes I don’t even know what it is you want.
“Good. I’m trusting you,” he said before closing the door.
I won’t let you down.
-
Settling himself, Fai prepared for a long night.
After setting up and testing his wards, he tried to detect anything malicious within the village, but discovered nothing.
All that’s coming through the wards now is air.
Lying on his back, looking at the stars, Fai’s mind started to wander.
What will I do?
What can I do?
Kurogane …
A bitter sob escaped his throat.
Someone like me should never be able to love.
Kurogane probably wouldn’t want me, anyway. I annoy him too much, and besides, how many times has he told me he hated me?
Many times. Each time, it hurt. It still does.
When did this all start, anyway?
I first knew of him in the tower.
I first saw him at the witch’s shop.
I first nicknamed him in Hanshin.
Together, we went through a lot.
Too much to ever forget and let go.
Fai really wanted to think about something else. A
ll that’s coming through the wards now is air …
-
He’s coming.
Fai could feel Kurogane’s presence shift and move from their room to the stairs.
He took a deep breath. Another moment, another mask.
Closing his eyes, he chose a lullaby familiar to him from days and nights spent in Ruval. The humming started as soon as Kurogane climbed up the stairs.
He waited.
“You know, being on watch usually involves watching,” Kurogane growled, leaning over him. “What if, a spy had been sent ahead to check out our defenses? Or an assassin had been creeping up to finish us off before we got a chance at an honorable battle?”
On cue, he stopped humming and lazily opened an eye.
“But I am watching, Kuro-pon! I’m using my magic to feel for auras and spells,” Fai sat up and rubbed his eyes. “I have to stay up here for at least another two hours until sunrise, so why are you here?”
He probably doesn’t trust me not to let some assassin slip by.
His question was ignored. “What if someone was hiding their magic, like you do?”
Fai shrugged. “If there was someone using magic and hiding it, I wouldn’t be able to see it either. Besides, I’ve placed wards around this entire town, and nothing will enter or leave without my permission.”
Kurogane grunted. At a temporary loss for what to say, Fai did what was most natural to him by now – he faked a smile.
The surprise he felt when Kurogane knelt down was enough to stun him for a few moments.
“I told you before; don’t smile if you don’t feel like it. No one is forcing you to be happy. Your happiness is something you must make for yourself.”
I don’t smile for me, Kuro-chan.
“But Kuro-chan,” Fai said softly, sad smile still in place. “Wouldn’t you be happier if I was happy?”
How will he respond? Fai dared to hope he would say yes, and then reprimanded himself for caring. Nothing good could come out of a close relationship. Ashura had proved that beyond a doubt.
There was no answer.
He’s just too afraid to say no.
He turned his head so that the tears threatening his eyes weren’t visible.
Happiness is overrated anyway.
Keeping his voice steady, he whispered, “Sometimes, Kuro-sama, I feel as if I’m running away faster from happiness than I am from life.”
Say something, Kurogane. Tell me you care. Tell me I’m not all alone in the world; tell me someone would cry if I died. Just say something, Kurogane. Show me that I’m not alone, even in the company of others.
“I really don’t understand you,” The words were spoken slowly, delicately. “But I do understand this: you need to stop running, and start living.”
So he does care.
The warmth that blossomed in his heart frightened him.
After gathering himself, Fai looked up again and allowed back a smile to hide behind.
I really shouldn’t be doing this. But who knows, the world might get lucky and I’ll die tomorrow. Maybe I’ll finally see what’s at the bottom at the ocean of Death, hmm? I’ve treaded these waters for long enough, and I’m weary of living.
Might as enjoy what little time I hopefully have left.
The only sound to be heard was a faint rustle of clothing as Fai scooted over so he could rest his head on Kurogane’s shoulder. His smile became a bit brighter when he felt Kurogane’s arm wrap around him with little hesitation.
I’m sorry, Kurogane. I’m sorry that you care.
-
A sense of warmth.
Security.
Love.
Snatched away for a moment, missing for a seeming eternity.
Seeking.
There it is.
Warmth. Security. Love.
He was content.
How long would it last this time?
-
He stood, the bodies arranged in perfect disorder around the room. Should anyone enter, the full effect of all the deaths would no doubt hit them.
He looked around, at this castle that was his home.
He thought wistfully of that man.
To love is a funny thing.
You lose sight of things you may have valued before, such as your own life.
I would give up everything I have.
And I did.
My people are dead, slain by their ruler.
My love … He will be the one to kill me.
Fai gazed upon the cold recognition in his eyes as the doors slammed open behind him and blood dripped down his fingers.
-
He was cold. So cold, and the waves were rougher than usual today. Shivering, he curled up tighter again Kurogane.
Would I really do that for him?
If there was a castle full of people, all sworn loyal to me.
Would I be able to kill them all, and watch their blood flow?
What would I do, if I knew the only way to save him was the murder, murder, and murder some more? If I knew I had to make him hate me, despise me, enough that he, in turn, could murder me?
“Hey!” Fai dragged out of his dreams by a shout. “Mage!”
I will never, ever, destroy anyone else like that.
I am nothing like Ashura-o.
Am I?
Fai sat up slowly and gazed out at the vast expanse of white, avoiding Kurogane’s eyes. His dream replayed itself in his mind – the scene that had ended his life in Celes, only in the dream he was king and Kurogane was the one who was supposed to kill him.
It hurt.
Tasting saltiness on his lips, Fai reached up and touched his face.
Tears.
I cried.
For who?
“You have a lot of nightmares, don’t you,” Kurogane’s voice sounded, once again dragging Fai out of his reverie.
“Mmmm,” Fai turned to Kurogane, mind still mostly on the residue feelings of the dream. “I have too many bad memories and too many unhappy thoughts to dream of more cheerful things, I suppose.”
“Tell me about it,” Kurogane suggested. “It’ll make you feel better, I think.”
I can’t, Kurogane.
You wouldn’t understand.
Everything Ashura had felt was there: the despair, the guilt, the horror. The lives taken and thrown away, disregarded for the sake of a sole other. The hope that one day, he could have a better life. That one day, he could live.
“You wouldn’t want to hear it,” Fai wiped away the tears on his sleeves and looked up at Kurogane, still clinging to him, to his warmth, to his strength. A smile struggled to his face.
I’m sorry, Ashura-o. I can’t do that, even for you. I don’t deserve it.
“Will you stop smiling?” Kurogane hissed. “You’re right, I am happier when you’re happy. But only if you’re actually happy, not when you’re hurting and pretending. Not when you’re lying and hiding and locking yourself and your secrets up. I’m not happier when you’re running away from me, or when you’re talking about getting yourself killed, but I’d rather hear those thoughts, that are truly yours, than the ones that you make up. You just piss me off so much sometimes, but-”
There it is again. “You piss me off so much sometimes.”
Please Kurogane, just go. Go and don’t look back. Stop worrying about me. Don’t fret … over someone like me.
The door slammed open and Syaoran burst onto the roof.
“I’m sorry for sleeping in!” He huffed, hands on his knees. “You should have woken me up, Fai-san!”
He looked up and started blushing furiously. “Eeh? Kurogane-san, Fai-san! I’m sorry for, uh, for interrupting …” His voice trailed off.
As depressed as he was, even Fai couldn’t help a faint blush rising to his cheeks, especially when he saw Kurogane’s face.
He’s cute when he’s blushing.
“Oh, it’s no bother Syaoran-kun!” Fai beamed at him, putting everything he had into his smile. “You weren’t interrupting anything!”
If anything, you interrupted a fight just waiting to happen.
“In fact,” Fai looked up and grinned at Kurogane. “Kuro-pii had just finished confessing his love for me!”
Not really, but then, his hatred is good enough for me.
“So, um, would you two like to get some rest?” Syaoran, flustered, gestured vaguely with his hands. “It is my watch …”
“Yes, I think I’ll be off now. I’ve heard what I wanted to hear,” Fai delicately got up.
Be strong, Kurogane. Walk away and don’t look back. It’s for the best.
Fai felt Kurogane’s gaze on him.
You’re too good for me.
Always have been, always will be.
Someone like me should never be able to love.