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burningdarkfireTitle: Falling For You - Return
Series: TRC
Pairing: KuroFai
Rating: PG-13
Length: about 2000 words, chapter 8 (8/26)
"Fai!" Kurogane called out happily. "You're back!"
He energetically barreled towards the small shape at the edge of the soccer field. He skidded to a stop about a meter away when he saw Fai flinch and look around.
"Sorry." He bounded in front of Fai's view. "I'm just so glad that you're well enough to come back to school again!"
"Yeah, Kurogane kept on sulking without you around!" Souma teased as she joined them. "It was so depressing watching him droop around!"
"I did not droop," Kurogane insisted. "I'm allowed to worry about him, aren't I?"
Souma merely snorted and shook her head, then looked at Fai with a smile. "Seriously though, welcome back."
"Thank you," Fai chuckled. "It's good to be back."
Soon a cluster of kids were swarming around them, everyone calling out to Fai. Although almost everyone had been to see him in the hospital, most were not aware of when he would be released.
"It's nice to see you again, Fai-san!" Tomoyo beamed warmly at him. "I was so tired of Kurogane drooping around!"
"I WASN'T DROOPING!"
Syaoran and Sakura, both classmates of Tomoyo, approached them next and offered their congratulations on his release.
Fai giggled after they left and asked Tomoyo, "Is it just me, or are they closer than ever?"
"They're really good friends," Tomoyo grinned. Sakura was her best friend and she loved to talk about her best friend more than anything.
"Aren't you guys a little young to be thinking about dating?" Kurogane frowned. He didn't want his baby sister to start looking at guys yet.
"I doubt they are," Fai poked Kurogane on the cheek. "Don't give them ideas now, Kuro-bun."
Kurogane groaned. "So you still haven't given up on the nicknames."
"Of course not, Kuro-bun!" Fai declared. "Then you might think that I don't love you anymore!"
"Whatever," Kurogane mumbled, wishing that he lacked the ability to blush. "Come on, let's go find the teacher. We have to get you caught up, since you missed almost the entire first month of grade 4."
He tugged on Fai's sleeve and led him across the field, not even complaining once when Fai slipped his hand into Kurogane's. He was just glad the energetic blond was able to skip along again and didn't have to lie on a bed with tubes attached to him and bandages everywhere.
He was just glad the blond was alive.
-
Later that night, Kurogane got a call from Fai.
"Can you meet me at the park?"
"Of course!" Kurogane eagerly agreed. Calling out a goodbye to his parents with a quick explanation as to where he was going, he ran out the door. Arriving at the park, he peered around, straining his eyes in the darkness of the slim crescent moon to find Fai.
Noticing at last a moving shadow approaching the field from the play structure, he walked quickly towards it.
"Fai!" he greeted him with a clasp on the shoulder. Fai twitched and let out a strangled gasp. "Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you …"
"It's alright," Fai said, though clearly still a little bit uncomfortable. "It's just … I don't see too well out of my left eye, and I'm just not quite used to it yet."
Kurogane frowned. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"I didn't want you to worry," Fai shook his head for emphasis. "You already did so much for me, coming to see me every day after school, bringing sweets and just being there …"
Kurogane gently knocked Fai on the head. "Stupid. I would only worry more if there were things that were troubling you that you kept hidden from me."
Fai smiled, but it soon disappeared as if it was too much effort. He sighed wearily, as if he was resigned to do something he didn't want to.
"What's wrong?" Kurogane asked. "Is it Ashura-san?"
Despite their efforts, Kurogane's parents had been unable to adopt Fai, and responsibility for him had instead passed to a man named Ashura King, in accordance with a neatly folded will that had been left by Fai's parents.
Ashura King was an outsider. He came from some far off northern country whose name Kurogane could never remember, with skin as pale as Fai's and hair as dark as Kurogane's. Despite repeated questionings of his parents, Kurogane could find out little more about Ashura than the fact that he was related to Fai in some way.
Fai shook his head again. "Ashura-san is fine. He's very kind to me and he doesn't seem upset at all about having to move halfway across the world so I could stay in my house."
"Then what is it?" Kurogane had felt and ignored it earlier today, but now the feeling that something was wrong; that Fai was somehow different was overwhelming.
Another sigh sounded through the air. It didn't take long for Kurogane to figure out what was missing – Fai's ever present smile and cheer was gone.
Ever present since Fai's last birthday, it had been a bit negligent on Kurogane's part, but he had been so relieved to get away from how frighteningly distant Fai had been that he had not looked too deeply into all the smiles.
He realized just how disastrous that ignorance had been when he saw Fai's face. He looked so lonely, so lost, sitting next to Kurogane in the darkness, staring up at the stars and clenching his hands in the grass.
Struck by his epiphany, Kurogane didn't pause to think before he scrambled over and knelt in front of the other boy.
"Fai," he said earnestly, his voice resounding with the innocence of someone who was still a boy, "If you ever need to talk, you know I'm here right? I might not always understand, but I'll do my best to try and help you, if I can. You're my best friend, Fai, and I don't want to lose you."
"Thank you, Kurogane," Fai looked at him seriously. "You're my best friend too, Kuro-bun. It wouldn't be worth living if it weren't for you."
"Don't say things like that!" Kurogane scolded, partly in anger, partly in fear. "There's always something that's worth living for, and I doubt I'm the only one."
"Mmmm." The sound Fai made wasn't one of agreement, or disagreement, but one that told Kurogane that he wanted a change of subject.
"Won't you tell me what's wrong?" Kurogane asked.
"I think," Fai smiled at him and paused. "I think I've reached a decision."
"And what's that?" Kurogane was eager now that they had steered clear of talk of death.
"I don't think I'll tell you just yet," Fai laughed. "I doubt you'll like it very much, and like I said before, I don't want to lose you. You're the only one that knows me from before."
Kurogane's face fell. "You're being all confusing again," he mumbled. He didn't like the tone of Fai's voice, the way he had said it. He made it sound as if Kurogane was valuable only because of when he had met Fai, and not for any other reason.
"I'm sorry, Kurogane," Fai said gently, leaning forward to capture the other's eyes in his again. "I didn't mean it that way. It's just that … if it weren't for you … I'm afraid, I guess, of forgetting of how I was before."
"What do you mean by before?" Kurogane's feelings had been soothed, but his curiosity piqued. "Before what?"
Fai smiled, but it was a bitter smile. "I'll tell you one day, Kurogane."
Kurogane nodded in consent. He had enough trust that Fai would hold to his word and tell him in good time.
"You shouldn't smile if you don't mean it, Fai," Kurogane remarked, sitting back. "I mean, you're really good at it and all, good enough to become an actor, but doesn't it get tiring?"
Pain flashed briefly across Fai's face only to be quickly replaced by yet another smile. "I don't like people asking too many questions. I don't call just anyone out to talk to at night, you know."
His smile fell as he lay down and stared up. "Besides, Kurogane, I'm still looking for the meaning of happiness and sadness, and since I can't cry, I might as well smile and laugh."
Kurogane was hit again by the feeling of a distance yawning between them.
He's so far away, he thought. As untouchable as the distant diamond sky.
-
Now (21 years and 5 months old)
A smile is a strange thing to characterize someone by, Kurogane realizes now, as he sits in a room where smiles are rarely ever present, but ever since that night when they had discussed (or rather, Fai had asked unanswerable questions about) life and death, reality and imagination, happiness and sadness, it had been rare to see Fai without a smile.
That night was the first of many cries for help that I chose to ignore. Kurogane is angry with himself for not reaching out more. Maybe if he had pushed more, Fai wouldn't be here. Or maybe, I tried to help in my way, but it was never enough.
After all, at that age, I was still clinging onto an innocent boyhood that Fai had lost a long time ago.
-
A/N - Just felt I should mention this - I haven't read RG Veda, so I don't actually know what Souma's character is like. For this fanfic, Souma, as well as Kendappa (who will appear later), Kuro's parents, Fai's parents, and to a certain extent Ashura and Chii, are basically OCs with a familiar CLAMP name attached.
Series: TRC
Pairing: KuroFai
Rating: PG-13
Length: about 2000 words, chapter 8 (8/26)
Return (8 Years and 10 Months Old)
May 14, 09: 8 Years and 5 Months Old
May 14, 09: 8 Years and 5 Months Old
"Fai!" Kurogane called out happily. "You're back!"
He energetically barreled towards the small shape at the edge of the soccer field. He skidded to a stop about a meter away when he saw Fai flinch and look around.
"Sorry." He bounded in front of Fai's view. "I'm just so glad that you're well enough to come back to school again!"
"Yeah, Kurogane kept on sulking without you around!" Souma teased as she joined them. "It was so depressing watching him droop around!"
"I did not droop," Kurogane insisted. "I'm allowed to worry about him, aren't I?"
Souma merely snorted and shook her head, then looked at Fai with a smile. "Seriously though, welcome back."
"Thank you," Fai chuckled. "It's good to be back."
Soon a cluster of kids were swarming around them, everyone calling out to Fai. Although almost everyone had been to see him in the hospital, most were not aware of when he would be released.
"It's nice to see you again, Fai-san!" Tomoyo beamed warmly at him. "I was so tired of Kurogane drooping around!"
"I WASN'T DROOPING!"
Syaoran and Sakura, both classmates of Tomoyo, approached them next and offered their congratulations on his release.
Fai giggled after they left and asked Tomoyo, "Is it just me, or are they closer than ever?"
"They're really good friends," Tomoyo grinned. Sakura was her best friend and she loved to talk about her best friend more than anything.
"Aren't you guys a little young to be thinking about dating?" Kurogane frowned. He didn't want his baby sister to start looking at guys yet.
"I doubt they are," Fai poked Kurogane on the cheek. "Don't give them ideas now, Kuro-bun."
Kurogane groaned. "So you still haven't given up on the nicknames."
"Of course not, Kuro-bun!" Fai declared. "Then you might think that I don't love you anymore!"
"Whatever," Kurogane mumbled, wishing that he lacked the ability to blush. "Come on, let's go find the teacher. We have to get you caught up, since you missed almost the entire first month of grade 4."
He tugged on Fai's sleeve and led him across the field, not even complaining once when Fai slipped his hand into Kurogane's. He was just glad the energetic blond was able to skip along again and didn't have to lie on a bed with tubes attached to him and bandages everywhere.
He was just glad the blond was alive.
-
Later that night, Kurogane got a call from Fai.
"Can you meet me at the park?"
"Of course!" Kurogane eagerly agreed. Calling out a goodbye to his parents with a quick explanation as to where he was going, he ran out the door. Arriving at the park, he peered around, straining his eyes in the darkness of the slim crescent moon to find Fai.
Noticing at last a moving shadow approaching the field from the play structure, he walked quickly towards it.
"Fai!" he greeted him with a clasp on the shoulder. Fai twitched and let out a strangled gasp. "Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you …"
"It's alright," Fai said, though clearly still a little bit uncomfortable. "It's just … I don't see too well out of my left eye, and I'm just not quite used to it yet."
Kurogane frowned. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"I didn't want you to worry," Fai shook his head for emphasis. "You already did so much for me, coming to see me every day after school, bringing sweets and just being there …"
Kurogane gently knocked Fai on the head. "Stupid. I would only worry more if there were things that were troubling you that you kept hidden from me."
Fai smiled, but it soon disappeared as if it was too much effort. He sighed wearily, as if he was resigned to do something he didn't want to.
"What's wrong?" Kurogane asked. "Is it Ashura-san?"
Despite their efforts, Kurogane's parents had been unable to adopt Fai, and responsibility for him had instead passed to a man named Ashura King, in accordance with a neatly folded will that had been left by Fai's parents.
Ashura King was an outsider. He came from some far off northern country whose name Kurogane could never remember, with skin as pale as Fai's and hair as dark as Kurogane's. Despite repeated questionings of his parents, Kurogane could find out little more about Ashura than the fact that he was related to Fai in some way.
Fai shook his head again. "Ashura-san is fine. He's very kind to me and he doesn't seem upset at all about having to move halfway across the world so I could stay in my house."
"Then what is it?" Kurogane had felt and ignored it earlier today, but now the feeling that something was wrong; that Fai was somehow different was overwhelming.
Another sigh sounded through the air. It didn't take long for Kurogane to figure out what was missing – Fai's ever present smile and cheer was gone.
Ever present since Fai's last birthday, it had been a bit negligent on Kurogane's part, but he had been so relieved to get away from how frighteningly distant Fai had been that he had not looked too deeply into all the smiles.
He realized just how disastrous that ignorance had been when he saw Fai's face. He looked so lonely, so lost, sitting next to Kurogane in the darkness, staring up at the stars and clenching his hands in the grass.
Struck by his epiphany, Kurogane didn't pause to think before he scrambled over and knelt in front of the other boy.
"Fai," he said earnestly, his voice resounding with the innocence of someone who was still a boy, "If you ever need to talk, you know I'm here right? I might not always understand, but I'll do my best to try and help you, if I can. You're my best friend, Fai, and I don't want to lose you."
"Thank you, Kurogane," Fai looked at him seriously. "You're my best friend too, Kuro-bun. It wouldn't be worth living if it weren't for you."
"Don't say things like that!" Kurogane scolded, partly in anger, partly in fear. "There's always something that's worth living for, and I doubt I'm the only one."
"Mmmm." The sound Fai made wasn't one of agreement, or disagreement, but one that told Kurogane that he wanted a change of subject.
"Won't you tell me what's wrong?" Kurogane asked.
"I think," Fai smiled at him and paused. "I think I've reached a decision."
"And what's that?" Kurogane was eager now that they had steered clear of talk of death.
"I don't think I'll tell you just yet," Fai laughed. "I doubt you'll like it very much, and like I said before, I don't want to lose you. You're the only one that knows me from before."
Kurogane's face fell. "You're being all confusing again," he mumbled. He didn't like the tone of Fai's voice, the way he had said it. He made it sound as if Kurogane was valuable only because of when he had met Fai, and not for any other reason.
"I'm sorry, Kurogane," Fai said gently, leaning forward to capture the other's eyes in his again. "I didn't mean it that way. It's just that … if it weren't for you … I'm afraid, I guess, of forgetting of how I was before."
"What do you mean by before?" Kurogane's feelings had been soothed, but his curiosity piqued. "Before what?"
Fai smiled, but it was a bitter smile. "I'll tell you one day, Kurogane."
Kurogane nodded in consent. He had enough trust that Fai would hold to his word and tell him in good time.
"You shouldn't smile if you don't mean it, Fai," Kurogane remarked, sitting back. "I mean, you're really good at it and all, good enough to become an actor, but doesn't it get tiring?"
Pain flashed briefly across Fai's face only to be quickly replaced by yet another smile. "I don't like people asking too many questions. I don't call just anyone out to talk to at night, you know."
His smile fell as he lay down and stared up. "Besides, Kurogane, I'm still looking for the meaning of happiness and sadness, and since I can't cry, I might as well smile and laugh."
Kurogane was hit again by the feeling of a distance yawning between them.
He's so far away, he thought. As untouchable as the distant diamond sky.
-
Now (21 years and 5 months old)
A smile is a strange thing to characterize someone by, Kurogane realizes now, as he sits in a room where smiles are rarely ever present, but ever since that night when they had discussed (or rather, Fai had asked unanswerable questions about) life and death, reality and imagination, happiness and sadness, it had been rare to see Fai without a smile.
That night was the first of many cries for help that I chose to ignore. Kurogane is angry with himself for not reaching out more. Maybe if he had pushed more, Fai wouldn't be here. Or maybe, I tried to help in my way, but it was never enough.
After all, at that age, I was still clinging onto an innocent boyhood that Fai had lost a long time ago.
-
A/N - Just felt I should mention this - I haven't read RG Veda, so I don't actually know what Souma's character is like. For this fanfic, Souma, as well as Kendappa (who will appear later), Kuro's parents, Fai's parents, and to a certain extent Ashura and Chii, are basically OCs with a familiar CLAMP name attached.
