Scars [TRC; KuroFai]
Feb. 6th, 2011 23:39![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
burningdarkfireTitle: Scars
Series: TRC
Pairing: KuroFai
Rating: PG - 13
Length: 1500 words; oneshot
Notes: AU; written for the Secret Santa at kuroxfai_pop for shadow_of_egypt
Prompt: Train ride through a snowy landscape in the evening, just as the lights are coming on in the towns. Pretty much looking for the warm feeling you get travelling with loved ones at that time, when it's quiet and you can snuggle/kiss/attempt something a bit more hot and heavy but fall asleep halfway through. X3 (I failed this prompt. I'm so sorry, orz)
Fai gives a tired smile as Sakura gapes at the train. Although it’s obvious it has seen better days, the roaring vehicle is rather impressive.
“Are we really going on that?” She asks, her eyes shining in wonder. Syaoran looks just as impressed, although he stays silent.
“We really are,” he says as cheerfully as he can. “By this time tomorrow, we’ll be in a new country. We can start over, make a new life.”
Someone shouts out something and the passengers around them gather up their bags and began moving towards the doors. Fai slings one arm over each of his adopted children as they join the flow. “We have to stick together, okay?”
A growl sounds behind him and Fai twists around to shoot Kurogane a bright grin. “What is it, Kuro-mu?”
Kurogane glares at him. “Why do I have all the bags?”
Syaoran and Sakura both flush and reach for their possessions. Fai swats their hands as Kurogane waves them off.
“Surely Kuro-manly can carry a few light bags by himself?” Fai teases lightly. Kurogane grunts something under his breath. Fai turns his attention to the train as Syaoran gets on. Sakura is next, one hand in Syaoran’s as she hops into the compartment.
Fai climbs aboard and looks around. Within moments, he feels overwhelmed by the bright lights and all of the other people bustling around and settling down. Mothers herding their children, elders leaning on each other, war-hardened men with weary eyes, all easing into their seats.
Kurogane leads the way down the train, until they come upon four empty seats in a row.
“Well, this looks cozy,” Fai says in an attempt to lighten the mood. Kurogane just snorts, shoves their bags into the overhead compartment, and sits down in the seat to the right. Fai sits at the opposite end; Sakura and Syaoran placing themselves dutifully between their adoptive parents.
Kurogane stares off stonily into space and Fai realizes his leg is bouncing nervously. He tries to stop it, but he’s too anxious to just sit around and wishes the train would leave already.
As if responding to his thoughts, there’s the sound of doors slamming shut and the train lurches forward suddenly, rumbling as it picks up speed and leaves the station behind.
“Kuro-woof will have to protect us if something happens,” he jokes, letting out a forced laugh. Kurogane ignores him and Syaoran shoots him a worried look.
“I’m sure we’ll be alright.” Sakura lays one of her hands on Fai’s scarred one. “Don’t worry so much, Fai. We’ll all work hard, and we’ll do just fine.”
Fai relaxes slightly, squeezing her hand affectionately. “I’m sure you’re right, Sakura. As long as we’re together, it’ll be okay. Nothing can defeat us, right?”
Sakura beams. “Right!”
“Right, Syaoran?” Fai calls out; Syaoran looked like he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how to jump in.
“R-right!” Syaoran sputters, surprised at being addressed all of a sudden. “I’ll do whatever is necessary!”
Fai shakes his head with a laugh. “Why was I even worried?”
-
“- and the next thing I knew, men ‘round me are dropping left and right and I’m running for my life – damn, I knew it was cowardly, I knew I was being weak, but something just took over, you know? Call it instinct, call it just wanting to get back to my family, whatever – but next thing I know, some bastard’s shot me in the leg and I’m face first in dirt and blood and I don’t know how long I just lay there until someone found me …”
The stranger sitting beside Fai trails off for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. “I was one of the lucky ones, I guess. I passed out, and I guess the other side had other things to deal with than some guy who might as well be dead – but I wasn’t; I wasn’t dead, and that’s the lucky thing, isn’t it? When I woke up, my first thought was that I was still breathing, still alive; I would be able to see my baby girl again … because I’m not dead …”
Fai feels sorrow stirring for the broken man. It’s obvious from his solitude that he’s making this trip without his family, who are more likely than not lying in a hastily dug mass grave, if they are lucky enough to be buried at all.
“I was kicked out soon after that. They said I was mentally unstable,” the soldier says with a crooked grin. “But that’s okay. My baby girl’s waiting for me once I get off the train, I know it. I’m betting her mother took her to safety the moment I left, before our town was seized … My wife always was a step ahead of everybody else …”
Fai nods mechanically and hopes that what the man says is true, although there’s a desperate glint in his eye that suggests otherwise.
“I don’t know what I would do without them …”
-
Fai brushes Sakura’s hair out of her face tenderly. She’s sleeping against his shoulder, no doubt tired from the constant nights full of fear. He looks up and his gaze meets Kurogane’s for a moment.
“I can’t help it,” he confesses softly. Kurogane just watches him, waiting for him to go on. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve this – Sakura, Syaoran, you – when so many other people are alone in this world, their lives torn apart by this war …”
“Don’t talk like that,” Kurogane says brusquely. He raises his hand, careful not to disturb the dozing Syaoran, to brush it against Fai’s cheek. “It won’t do you any good – we’re lucky, lucky as hell, to have this, and I won’t let you tear yourself apart for something you should be grateful for.”
Fai is silent for a few moments, a heavy smile resting on his lips as he leans into Kurogane’s hand and continues stroking Sakura’s hair. “We’re lucky, huh?” His hand strays to eye patch without any conscious thought and he thinks of the empty socket underneath.
“Yes.” Kurogane’s voice is firm and strong, and Fai wants so badly to believe him. “These two, they’re strong. They probably would’ve survived even if we hadn’t found them, but we did, and now we’re going to do everything we can to make sure the kid won’t have to go through what we did and the girl won’t have to sit at home worrying about whether or not he’ll ever come home.”
“You could call them by their names sometimes, you know,” Fai reprimands gently, even though he knows that despite all of Kurogane’s confident words, he’s afraid that one day they won’t be so lucky and Syaoran and Sakura will be torn from their grip. He’s afraid, so he won’t call them by their names, even if he denies it all the time.
Kurogane huffs impatiently and brushes the subject aside, as he always does. Fai turns his head slightly and presses a kiss to his partner’s hand, feeling the rough, scarred skin against his lips.
“I suppose we are lucky,” he muses quietly, shifting and sitting forward to look out the window. Kurogane’s hand drifts down to rest against his neck.
They stay silent for a while – minutes, hours, it doesn’t matter. Fai watches the world outside rush by, snow whirling around in the gathering evening shadows. A town passes by, too quickly for him to get a proper look at it, but the yellow lights are a reprise from the shades of gray outside.
When his eyes start to droop close, Fai nudges Kurogane’s palm. By now, Kurogane must be extremely uncomfortable with his arm still outstretched – but Kurogane has never been one to complain, and Fai can’t say he isn’t grateful for the warmth and the reassurance. Kurogane looks at him inquisitively as Fai settles his chin on Sakura’s head with a sigh, but moves his hand accordingly so that Fai can lean against it again.
He lets his eyes close slowly and listens to the rumbling of the train as it carries them onwards to their destination. So many hopes, so many dreams … all pinned to a country none of them had ever set foot in, a country that promised them safety and security and liberty. A chance to live without the horrors of war, although for him and Kurogane it’s already far too late. He’s lost an eye, and Kurogane’s missing an arm, but Syaoran and Sakura are still whole, still young, and there’s still hope for them.
“We’ll be okay, won’t we?” He asks softly, his eyes still closed.
Kurogane’s thumb brushes over his cheek. “Of course. Now stop worrying, you idiot, and go to sleep.”
Fai falls asleep with a smile on his face.
-
A/N - I'm so, so sorry that I destroyed all the fluffiness your prompt allowed for and filled it in with angst, orz. This is the fourth attempt I've made and I finally decided to just go with this - attempt number 1 became so awkward and forced I abandoned it, attempt number 2 ended up in the wrong time period (with camels), attempt number 3 was We've Been Running For Far Too Long so, uh, yeah. I can't do fluff. T.T
/rambling
I've been on a huge history/war kick recently - partly because I've been getting into APH and partly because my history class just started a few days ago (although Canadian history is so ... boring). Combined with a fantasy short story I read recently, this whole fleeing from war thing popped into my mind ... probably terribly inaccurate, as I have no idea how refugees usually flee and I didn't research.
Bad author is bad.
Series: TRC
Pairing: KuroFai
Rating: PG - 13
Length: 1500 words; oneshot
Notes: AU; written for the Secret Santa at kuroxfai_pop for shadow_of_egypt
Prompt: Train ride through a snowy landscape in the evening, just as the lights are coming on in the towns. Pretty much looking for the warm feeling you get travelling with loved ones at that time, when it's quiet and you can snuggle/kiss/attempt something a bit more hot and heavy but fall asleep halfway through. X3 (I failed this prompt. I'm so sorry, orz)
Fai gives a tired smile as Sakura gapes at the train. Although it’s obvious it has seen better days, the roaring vehicle is rather impressive.
“Are we really going on that?” She asks, her eyes shining in wonder. Syaoran looks just as impressed, although he stays silent.
“We really are,” he says as cheerfully as he can. “By this time tomorrow, we’ll be in a new country. We can start over, make a new life.”
Someone shouts out something and the passengers around them gather up their bags and began moving towards the doors. Fai slings one arm over each of his adopted children as they join the flow. “We have to stick together, okay?”
A growl sounds behind him and Fai twists around to shoot Kurogane a bright grin. “What is it, Kuro-mu?”
Kurogane glares at him. “Why do I have all the bags?”
Syaoran and Sakura both flush and reach for their possessions. Fai swats their hands as Kurogane waves them off.
“Surely Kuro-manly can carry a few light bags by himself?” Fai teases lightly. Kurogane grunts something under his breath. Fai turns his attention to the train as Syaoran gets on. Sakura is next, one hand in Syaoran’s as she hops into the compartment.
Fai climbs aboard and looks around. Within moments, he feels overwhelmed by the bright lights and all of the other people bustling around and settling down. Mothers herding their children, elders leaning on each other, war-hardened men with weary eyes, all easing into their seats.
Kurogane leads the way down the train, until they come upon four empty seats in a row.
“Well, this looks cozy,” Fai says in an attempt to lighten the mood. Kurogane just snorts, shoves their bags into the overhead compartment, and sits down in the seat to the right. Fai sits at the opposite end; Sakura and Syaoran placing themselves dutifully between their adoptive parents.
Kurogane stares off stonily into space and Fai realizes his leg is bouncing nervously. He tries to stop it, but he’s too anxious to just sit around and wishes the train would leave already.
As if responding to his thoughts, there’s the sound of doors slamming shut and the train lurches forward suddenly, rumbling as it picks up speed and leaves the station behind.
“Kuro-woof will have to protect us if something happens,” he jokes, letting out a forced laugh. Kurogane ignores him and Syaoran shoots him a worried look.
“I’m sure we’ll be alright.” Sakura lays one of her hands on Fai’s scarred one. “Don’t worry so much, Fai. We’ll all work hard, and we’ll do just fine.”
Fai relaxes slightly, squeezing her hand affectionately. “I’m sure you’re right, Sakura. As long as we’re together, it’ll be okay. Nothing can defeat us, right?”
Sakura beams. “Right!”
“Right, Syaoran?” Fai calls out; Syaoran looked like he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how to jump in.
“R-right!” Syaoran sputters, surprised at being addressed all of a sudden. “I’ll do whatever is necessary!”
Fai shakes his head with a laugh. “Why was I even worried?”
-
“- and the next thing I knew, men ‘round me are dropping left and right and I’m running for my life – damn, I knew it was cowardly, I knew I was being weak, but something just took over, you know? Call it instinct, call it just wanting to get back to my family, whatever – but next thing I know, some bastard’s shot me in the leg and I’m face first in dirt and blood and I don’t know how long I just lay there until someone found me …”
The stranger sitting beside Fai trails off for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. “I was one of the lucky ones, I guess. I passed out, and I guess the other side had other things to deal with than some guy who might as well be dead – but I wasn’t; I wasn’t dead, and that’s the lucky thing, isn’t it? When I woke up, my first thought was that I was still breathing, still alive; I would be able to see my baby girl again … because I’m not dead …”
Fai feels sorrow stirring for the broken man. It’s obvious from his solitude that he’s making this trip without his family, who are more likely than not lying in a hastily dug mass grave, if they are lucky enough to be buried at all.
“I was kicked out soon after that. They said I was mentally unstable,” the soldier says with a crooked grin. “But that’s okay. My baby girl’s waiting for me once I get off the train, I know it. I’m betting her mother took her to safety the moment I left, before our town was seized … My wife always was a step ahead of everybody else …”
Fai nods mechanically and hopes that what the man says is true, although there’s a desperate glint in his eye that suggests otherwise.
“I don’t know what I would do without them …”
-
Fai brushes Sakura’s hair out of her face tenderly. She’s sleeping against his shoulder, no doubt tired from the constant nights full of fear. He looks up and his gaze meets Kurogane’s for a moment.
“I can’t help it,” he confesses softly. Kurogane just watches him, waiting for him to go on. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve this – Sakura, Syaoran, you – when so many other people are alone in this world, their lives torn apart by this war …”
“Don’t talk like that,” Kurogane says brusquely. He raises his hand, careful not to disturb the dozing Syaoran, to brush it against Fai’s cheek. “It won’t do you any good – we’re lucky, lucky as hell, to have this, and I won’t let you tear yourself apart for something you should be grateful for.”
Fai is silent for a few moments, a heavy smile resting on his lips as he leans into Kurogane’s hand and continues stroking Sakura’s hair. “We’re lucky, huh?” His hand strays to eye patch without any conscious thought and he thinks of the empty socket underneath.
“Yes.” Kurogane’s voice is firm and strong, and Fai wants so badly to believe him. “These two, they’re strong. They probably would’ve survived even if we hadn’t found them, but we did, and now we’re going to do everything we can to make sure the kid won’t have to go through what we did and the girl won’t have to sit at home worrying about whether or not he’ll ever come home.”
“You could call them by their names sometimes, you know,” Fai reprimands gently, even though he knows that despite all of Kurogane’s confident words, he’s afraid that one day they won’t be so lucky and Syaoran and Sakura will be torn from their grip. He’s afraid, so he won’t call them by their names, even if he denies it all the time.
Kurogane huffs impatiently and brushes the subject aside, as he always does. Fai turns his head slightly and presses a kiss to his partner’s hand, feeling the rough, scarred skin against his lips.
“I suppose we are lucky,” he muses quietly, shifting and sitting forward to look out the window. Kurogane’s hand drifts down to rest against his neck.
They stay silent for a while – minutes, hours, it doesn’t matter. Fai watches the world outside rush by, snow whirling around in the gathering evening shadows. A town passes by, too quickly for him to get a proper look at it, but the yellow lights are a reprise from the shades of gray outside.
When his eyes start to droop close, Fai nudges Kurogane’s palm. By now, Kurogane must be extremely uncomfortable with his arm still outstretched – but Kurogane has never been one to complain, and Fai can’t say he isn’t grateful for the warmth and the reassurance. Kurogane looks at him inquisitively as Fai settles his chin on Sakura’s head with a sigh, but moves his hand accordingly so that Fai can lean against it again.
He lets his eyes close slowly and listens to the rumbling of the train as it carries them onwards to their destination. So many hopes, so many dreams … all pinned to a country none of them had ever set foot in, a country that promised them safety and security and liberty. A chance to live without the horrors of war, although for him and Kurogane it’s already far too late. He’s lost an eye, and Kurogane’s missing an arm, but Syaoran and Sakura are still whole, still young, and there’s still hope for them.
“We’ll be okay, won’t we?” He asks softly, his eyes still closed.
Kurogane’s thumb brushes over his cheek. “Of course. Now stop worrying, you idiot, and go to sleep.”
Fai falls asleep with a smile on his face.
-
A/N - I'm so, so sorry that I destroyed all the fluffiness your prompt allowed for and filled it in with angst, orz. This is the fourth attempt I've made and I finally decided to just go with this - attempt number 1 became so awkward and forced I abandoned it, attempt number 2 ended up in the wrong time period (with camels), attempt number 3 was We've Been Running For Far Too Long so, uh, yeah. I can't do fluff. T.T
/rambling
I've been on a huge history/war kick recently - partly because I've been getting into APH and partly because my history class just started a few days ago (although Canadian history is so ... boring). Combined with a fantasy short story I read recently, this whole fleeing from war thing popped into my mind ... probably terribly inaccurate, as I have no idea how refugees usually flee and I didn't research.
Bad author is bad.
