Lost [TRC]
Jul. 3rd, 2010 17:29![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
burningdarkfireTitle: Lost
Series: TRC
Pairing: a passing mention of KuroFai
Rating: PG
Length: about 500 words, part (19/30) of prompts table
Fai D. Fluorite had seen and done many things that might have been considered unspeakable by some, from the brutal torture of Celesian prisoners to dragging dead bodies to form a pile on which he could hopefully climb up on.
His memory was better than most; despite having lived longer than normal, truly mortal men, Fai still remembered being a child, still a twin; he still remembered growing up and studying in the vast libraries of Ruval; he still remembered his discovery of alcohol and his discovery of his healing smile.
Fai’s path in life had been suddenly jerked and yanked in multiple direction, until he had found himself in the company of four travelling companions, four travelling companions that he lied to from the beginning, if only by withholding the truths that he knew.
Along the path of life, the magician had already lost many things – his childhood, which was buried amongst the dead bodies in that dreadful tower; his twin, the real Fai from who he had borrowed his name; Ashura, his king, his father figure, his lover; his homes, both Valeria and Celes alike. He had lost his faith in love, as well as in hope, in happiness, and in wishes.
But somewhere, while dimension hopping, Fai had allowed himself to become attached again, even while knowing that the knowledge he withheld would be the end of any happiness he could create with them. He took a gamble that what he gained would be more than what he lost – of course, he failed to consider that the more he gained, the less he was willing to accept that he might lose it all.
For somewhere in the journey between the worlds, Fai had lost who he was. He was no longer a greatly abused but still innocent child trapped in a tower removed from the flow of time, nor was he a robot like shell that existed only to give back what he had taken from his twin: life. He was not an adult in the body of a teenager, who studied constantly under Ashura’s guidance, striving to please him, nor was he a learning mage frustrated with his lack of healing magic. He was no longer a savior that didn’t know how to smile, nor was he someone who could easily summon a smile to cover up unease.
Fai had changed, with the help of the four, in particular due to the ninja with burning red eyes that kept on pressing and pressing, even when he was repeatedly shoved away.
Fai had lost himself along the way, slowly shedding his old skin for new. Everything from his beliefs to his eye to his blood had been taken away and warped and changed and then returned. Even his brother’s name had become his own, although his original name still lingered in memories that could not be erased.
Kurogane told him that he had made progress, that he had come far. Kurogane told him that he could never forget that despite all that he had lost, he had also gained. Kurogane told him that even if everyone else had left, he would always be there, and Fai had been so bold as to believe him.
He had changed, reborn from his ashes like the immortal phoenix that rises and rises again.
He had lost, but he had gained.
But it was a Pyrrhic victory nonetheless.
Series: TRC
Pairing: a passing mention of KuroFai
Rating: PG
Length: about 500 words, part (19/30) of prompts table
Fai D. Fluorite had seen and done many things that might have been considered unspeakable by some, from the brutal torture of Celesian prisoners to dragging dead bodies to form a pile on which he could hopefully climb up on.
His memory was better than most; despite having lived longer than normal, truly mortal men, Fai still remembered being a child, still a twin; he still remembered growing up and studying in the vast libraries of Ruval; he still remembered his discovery of alcohol and his discovery of his healing smile.
Fai’s path in life had been suddenly jerked and yanked in multiple direction, until he had found himself in the company of four travelling companions, four travelling companions that he lied to from the beginning, if only by withholding the truths that he knew.
Along the path of life, the magician had already lost many things – his childhood, which was buried amongst the dead bodies in that dreadful tower; his twin, the real Fai from who he had borrowed his name; Ashura, his king, his father figure, his lover; his homes, both Valeria and Celes alike. He had lost his faith in love, as well as in hope, in happiness, and in wishes.
But somewhere, while dimension hopping, Fai had allowed himself to become attached again, even while knowing that the knowledge he withheld would be the end of any happiness he could create with them. He took a gamble that what he gained would be more than what he lost – of course, he failed to consider that the more he gained, the less he was willing to accept that he might lose it all.
For somewhere in the journey between the worlds, Fai had lost who he was. He was no longer a greatly abused but still innocent child trapped in a tower removed from the flow of time, nor was he a robot like shell that existed only to give back what he had taken from his twin: life. He was not an adult in the body of a teenager, who studied constantly under Ashura’s guidance, striving to please him, nor was he a learning mage frustrated with his lack of healing magic. He was no longer a savior that didn’t know how to smile, nor was he someone who could easily summon a smile to cover up unease.
Fai had changed, with the help of the four, in particular due to the ninja with burning red eyes that kept on pressing and pressing, even when he was repeatedly shoved away.
Fai had lost himself along the way, slowly shedding his old skin for new. Everything from his beliefs to his eye to his blood had been taken away and warped and changed and then returned. Even his brother’s name had become his own, although his original name still lingered in memories that could not be erased.
Kurogane told him that he had made progress, that he had come far. Kurogane told him that he could never forget that despite all that he had lost, he had also gained. Kurogane told him that even if everyone else had left, he would always be there, and Fai had been so bold as to believe him.
He had changed, reborn from his ashes like the immortal phoenix that rises and rises again.
He had lost, but he had gained.
But it was a Pyrrhic victory nonetheless.
