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burningdarkfireTitle: Sapphire - Wishing For A Dreamless Sleep
Series: TRC
Pairing: KuroFai
Rating: PG
Length: about 1000 words, chapter 3 (1.3/??)
Note: runs parallel to Crimson
Fai heard the rustle of clothes, but thought nothing of it until he felt himself being lifted out of bed. Panic rose up in him and he automatically struggled, attempting to free himself. Suddenly, he found Kurogane’s eyes with his own and was startled to see the pure rage within them.
What did I do?!
His thought was cut short as the muscular man slammed him into the wall. The pain registered at the back of his head, and he couldn’t keep himself from letting a small gasp escape, although he started healing almost immediately. He tugged at the tan arms holding him captive, wondering if Kurogane had finally seen through this mask as well.
It’s hard, he reflected. I never had much of a use for a mask before … He refused to finish that thought, choosing instead to skip over that little detail. It was always just a small smile here, a little laugh here. No one, besides … No one else was close enough to me to truly care.
Then he noticed the claws.
What!?
Why!?
I thought … the witch said that I would no longer be a vampire if I regained my eye!
…
What’s wrong with me?!
Kurogane seemed to come to with a small jerk. Fai wondered if he had noticed the surprise on his face, and if so, what he thought of it.
There will be questions … Questions I can’t provide answers to.
First though, Fai would need to regain control.
And not only of this situation.
Fai cataloged the noticed differences one by one.
Everything is sharper and I can see his life force again …
So my eyes must be golden again.
Unfortunately, there was no mirror around for Fai to look in, and even if there had been, he was still trapped.
Maybe he is trying to kill me, Fai thought, and for a moment, a true smile broke across his face.
“Why, Kuro-rin, is there something wrong? You’re hurting me a little,” He said more harshly than he intended.
He felt the hand around his neck loosen and retreat slowly, although Kurogane still said nothing.
However, Fai was too busy with something else to care.
Don’t move, he willed himself from his new position slumped on the floor. Don’t move, or next thing you know, you’ll be holding an empty body.
The smell of blood had finally reached him. He closed his eyes and concentrated instead on keeping himself completely and utterly still. Despite his efforts, he could still practically see where the blood was … trailing down Kuro-rin’s arm … slowly but surely making its way, lead by the pull of gravity …
Falling through the air …
Fai was shocked at the amount of effort it took him to not lunge forward. It would seem having his vampire side dormant only left it hungrier when it awoke.
“Have it,” Fai desperately ignored Kurogane’s voice. He squeezed his eyes shut and refused to surrender to the call of the blood.
“It’ll just end up on a towel somewhere anyway,” he insisted. Giving in to the vampire that was pounding in his head and just demanding to have control, he let his body take over. He suppressed a shudder of disgust as he trailed his tongue up Kurogane’s arm.
The self-loathing truly started when he felt the fangs come out and ask for more.
It intensified when he was given permission.
“Go on,” he said, unaware of the havoc he had just caused in Fai’s thoughts. “I don’t mind.”
I mind. You may say you don’t care, but I care. I care all the more because I can’t control it.
I’m so pathetic. I’m harming him, because I can’t even do something as simple as get control of myself.
He drank all the while.
The hatred of himself climaxed when he found he didn’t want to stop.
God damnit, what do I ever do besides kill people?
Summoning whatever shredded remnants of strength he had left that was not affected either with hatred or thirst, he forced his mouth open and then clamped it shut again, determined that it wasn’t going to open to let in any more of that red liquid again for a while.
That idea was scattered when he noticed the blood on his fingers.
Although it came back renewed and with greater strength than before, it was only after all the blood was gone.
He turned his back on Kurogane, stubbornly refusing, even now, to let any of his emotions and thoughts be shown, and began to undress for bed. When it came to the ruined gloves, he balled up the one with some specks of blood still remaining from the ninja’s arm and tossed it aside with more than the usual vehemence shown towards clothing. He resisted the urge to check on his new tattoo, meant to hide his magic from others, and waited for the inevitable question.
“What happened there? I thought you said you were no longer a vampire …” The voice behind him hissed angrily. Fai really wished that Kurogane would just go away and leave him to himself.
The door crashed open as Syaoran tumbled in. “Are you ok? The crash woke me, but ah …” the boy blushed. “I couldn’t come until I was decent.” Anger came to join the burning pain of hating oneself.
Why can’t they just leave me alone?
Fai turned around, smile in place and ready for duty. “It’s alright Syaoran-kun, Kuro-pii just got a little overexcited. You know how he is!”
He willed the other man to play along, and breathed a silent sigh of relief when he did. “It was nothing important, go back to sleep, kid.”
Syaoran’s gaze narrowed slightly, but at last he bowed his head in submission. “Good night, then.” He left without waiting for a response from either man.
Fai slipped into bed while Kurogane’s attention was still focused on the door and settled himself facedown. He was careful to leave enough room for another body, though he doubted he would be sleeping with any body heat added onto his today.
Maybe I’ll fall into another dreamless sleep, only to find out it was actually death. Wouldn’t that be just lovely?
Instead of lingering on ideas of how he would like to die (slipping away during his only escape time did seem like the most peaceful way to go), he concentrated on steadying his breathing to imitate sleep.
“Why?” He could barely make out the quiet whisper. “Why won’t you let go of your masks?”
Because a twin of misfortune don’t deserve to be happy.
Series: TRC
Pairing: KuroFai
Rating: PG
Length: about 1000 words, chapter 3 (1.3/??)
Note: runs parallel to Crimson
Fai heard the rustle of clothes, but thought nothing of it until he felt himself being lifted out of bed. Panic rose up in him and he automatically struggled, attempting to free himself. Suddenly, he found Kurogane’s eyes with his own and was startled to see the pure rage within them.
What did I do?!
His thought was cut short as the muscular man slammed him into the wall. The pain registered at the back of his head, and he couldn’t keep himself from letting a small gasp escape, although he started healing almost immediately. He tugged at the tan arms holding him captive, wondering if Kurogane had finally seen through this mask as well.
It’s hard, he reflected. I never had much of a use for a mask before … He refused to finish that thought, choosing instead to skip over that little detail. It was always just a small smile here, a little laugh here. No one, besides … No one else was close enough to me to truly care.
Then he noticed the claws.
What!?
Why!?
I thought … the witch said that I would no longer be a vampire if I regained my eye!
…
What’s wrong with me?!
Kurogane seemed to come to with a small jerk. Fai wondered if he had noticed the surprise on his face, and if so, what he thought of it.
There will be questions … Questions I can’t provide answers to.
First though, Fai would need to regain control.
And not only of this situation.
Fai cataloged the noticed differences one by one.
Everything is sharper and I can see his life force again …
So my eyes must be golden again.
Unfortunately, there was no mirror around for Fai to look in, and even if there had been, he was still trapped.
Maybe he is trying to kill me, Fai thought, and for a moment, a true smile broke across his face.
“Why, Kuro-rin, is there something wrong? You’re hurting me a little,” He said more harshly than he intended.
He felt the hand around his neck loosen and retreat slowly, although Kurogane still said nothing.
However, Fai was too busy with something else to care.
Don’t move, he willed himself from his new position slumped on the floor. Don’t move, or next thing you know, you’ll be holding an empty body.
The smell of blood had finally reached him. He closed his eyes and concentrated instead on keeping himself completely and utterly still. Despite his efforts, he could still practically see where the blood was … trailing down Kuro-rin’s arm … slowly but surely making its way, lead by the pull of gravity …
Falling through the air …
Fai was shocked at the amount of effort it took him to not lunge forward. It would seem having his vampire side dormant only left it hungrier when it awoke.
“Have it,” Fai desperately ignored Kurogane’s voice. He squeezed his eyes shut and refused to surrender to the call of the blood.
“It’ll just end up on a towel somewhere anyway,” he insisted. Giving in to the vampire that was pounding in his head and just demanding to have control, he let his body take over. He suppressed a shudder of disgust as he trailed his tongue up Kurogane’s arm.
The self-loathing truly started when he felt the fangs come out and ask for more.
It intensified when he was given permission.
“Go on,” he said, unaware of the havoc he had just caused in Fai’s thoughts. “I don’t mind.”
I mind. You may say you don’t care, but I care. I care all the more because I can’t control it.
I’m so pathetic. I’m harming him, because I can’t even do something as simple as get control of myself.
He drank all the while.
The hatred of himself climaxed when he found he didn’t want to stop.
God damnit, what do I ever do besides kill people?
Summoning whatever shredded remnants of strength he had left that was not affected either with hatred or thirst, he forced his mouth open and then clamped it shut again, determined that it wasn’t going to open to let in any more of that red liquid again for a while.
That idea was scattered when he noticed the blood on his fingers.
Although it came back renewed and with greater strength than before, it was only after all the blood was gone.
He turned his back on Kurogane, stubbornly refusing, even now, to let any of his emotions and thoughts be shown, and began to undress for bed. When it came to the ruined gloves, he balled up the one with some specks of blood still remaining from the ninja’s arm and tossed it aside with more than the usual vehemence shown towards clothing. He resisted the urge to check on his new tattoo, meant to hide his magic from others, and waited for the inevitable question.
“What happened there? I thought you said you were no longer a vampire …” The voice behind him hissed angrily. Fai really wished that Kurogane would just go away and leave him to himself.
The door crashed open as Syaoran tumbled in. “Are you ok? The crash woke me, but ah …” the boy blushed. “I couldn’t come until I was decent.” Anger came to join the burning pain of hating oneself.
Why can’t they just leave me alone?
Fai turned around, smile in place and ready for duty. “It’s alright Syaoran-kun, Kuro-pii just got a little overexcited. You know how he is!”
He willed the other man to play along, and breathed a silent sigh of relief when he did. “It was nothing important, go back to sleep, kid.”
Syaoran’s gaze narrowed slightly, but at last he bowed his head in submission. “Good night, then.” He left without waiting for a response from either man.
Fai slipped into bed while Kurogane’s attention was still focused on the door and settled himself facedown. He was careful to leave enough room for another body, though he doubted he would be sleeping with any body heat added onto his today.
Maybe I’ll fall into another dreamless sleep, only to find out it was actually death. Wouldn’t that be just lovely?
Instead of lingering on ideas of how he would like to die (slipping away during his only escape time did seem like the most peaceful way to go), he concentrated on steadying his breathing to imitate sleep.
“Why?” He could barely make out the quiet whisper. “Why won’t you let go of your masks?”
Because a twin of misfortune don’t deserve to be happy.
